Top 10 Actors I'd like to Fuck [UPDATED]

My updated list.

#10. Kevin Dunn 

Gracing my 'Top 10' for the first time but arguably should have been there since "Transformers." And he's managed to become hotter and hotter with each passing year. Genial, slightly stocky with a pleasant (if unremarkable) countenance and although clean-shaven for most roles, he can grow an surprisingly cute beard on him. This guy should be adored more than he is by us daddybear lovers. Currently he stars as pessimistic Presidential Chief of Staff Ben Cafferty in "Veep."

#9. Peter Gerety

Holding strong at #9, this burly, thickset, and occasionally scruffy character actor with a domineering and imposing presence who often accepted roles as ordinary working-class stiffs, judges, or inner-city law officers. Whether he's all cleaned up in a suit and tie or rumpled, he pretty much fits my template for guys I like. Recently I spotted him the tv series "Mercy Street," "Sneaky Pete" and "Elementary" with a big-screen appearance in "God's Pocket" still looking fuckable. He seems like a nice, funny guy which only makes me want him more.

#8. Peter Jason

Another first timer to my top 10 who had always peaked my interest since I first saw him in "They Live," but didn’t realize just how sexy he was until I saw him in an episode of "NCIS" a few years back. Since then I've seen him in a lot of interesting stuff like "Valley of the Sun" (2011), playing a grumpy, jealous old man and "Hopelessly in June" (2011) playing one half of a gay couple. Today he has a lot more sex appeal that I didn't see in his younger years. And I'm still sifting though his film and television roles to see if he shows some kind of skin in it. At least I know he has some nice looking legs. Just something else to admirer while I'm banging him.

#7. Richard Riehle

Even I'm surprise he wasn't in my top 10 list a lot sooner considering how much I love that nice, big, fat, perfectly round ass of his. He has appeared in just about everything since his career took off in 1989. Seriously, it's really had to think of any movie or TV show he hasn't appeared in. I recently saw him on an episode of "NCIS" still looking every bit like a fuckable bear. And everything I see him in now, I look for an ass shot. Seriously, that ass is great. He has a bunch of film and television projects in the hopper that I'm waiting see him in. To be more precise, see his aforementioned nice, big, fat, perfectly round ass of his.

#6. Edward Asner

The accomplished actor and activist maybe on in years now, but I'd still do him. He still has those big thick eyebrows, hairy forearms and pudgy fingers down to his thick hairy legs from his "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and "Lou Grant" days only they're gray. Asner does playfully affect some real-life crust, but his warmth and intellect can’t help but shine through, making for awesome post-sex conversation. The lovable actor is still pretty busy for a man of his age. Just take a look at his IMDb page with all the work he has just wrapped up and soon will work on. So while he'll continues working, I'll continue to jerk off to this hairy beast. Keep it up Ed, we love ya!

#5. Bob Gunton

Probably most famous for his role as Warden Norton in "Shawshank Redemption", but I think I really took noticed him until I saw "The Glimmer Man." Since then, I've seen him in shit loads of films and TV roles. A tall, stocky, rather plain but still handsome looking guy, he has been around for a while but it's only in the last few years that he has become so stunningly fuckable. Just a classic DILF type.  Gunton shot up into my top ten when he bares his ass in a rather short sex scene in the movie "Tenure." Here's hoping he continues the tend.

#4. Dan Lauria

I have this habit of over looking guys one minute than obsess over them the next. Like one minute he does nothing for me than later on I'm running around with a boner them and Dan at #4 is a one good example of that. I mean this guy is pretty much THE definition of daddybear. I mean, just look at him. He is stocky, beefy and possesses a look that tells you that he’s a mean sonuvabitch, yet at the same time, he’s also a gentle teddy bear of a man. I've been obsessing over him since his now canceled show "Pitch."

#3. Brendan Gleeson

His first appearance in my top 10 list and he made all the way up to #3 thanks to his appearances in films like "Trespass Against Us" (2016), "Edge of Tomorrow" (2014) and "Calvary" (2014). An Emmy-award wining, Irish character actor with the look of a charming, affable every-man; a human teddy bear that you could slug back a few pints with at a local pub then go home and fuck like rabbits. He literally is one of those guys who becomes more and more gorgeous with each passing year. Now I can't wait to see my favorite ginger dad in "Hampstead" (2017) and tv series "Mr. Mercedes." Hopefully showing some skin.

#2. M. Emmet Walsh

One of two actors living that I'd cut off my left hand to have one night with. Rotund, dumpy and rumpled looking with a bald head and jowly face, he's a great example of the sexy potential of the regular daddy/grandfather next door type. He's also humble with a charming, sarcastic wit that I enjoy and he's smart. If I'm alone in liking him, then so be it. Walsh is truly one of a kind and he's not afraid to bare his flesh in front of the camera when a role calls for it, which is a major plus in my book. And at 82, he says he's still in good shape and isn’t planning on retiring any time soon. So more chances to see him with his shirt off.

#1. Jack McGee

To the average person, he’s just another one of those character actors who pops up and you can’t remember his name. But to us daddy lovers, Jack is a superstar, A-list level and I've been obsessed with that small (formerly) round man since "Rescue Me." Handsome with graying brown hair, blue eyes, apple cheeks and hot, gravelly, raspy voice in that NY accent. All in all, he’s basically a young Charles Durning, another hot chubby daddy I admired. And the topper, he’s got the best personality ever. Damn right he’s #1 on my to do list.

Honorable Mentions:

Dakin Matthews

Paul Sorvino

Michael Harney

William Hill

Michael Mulheren

Chapter Three: The Benefit with Friends

As I walked up Ed Asner’s walk way, I thought to myself ‘I can’t believe I’m fucking one of the most honored actors in TV history.’ Surely our relationship would end as he’d come to his sense and tell me to leave and don’t come back. But I’ll just go along for the ride as long as it last. Before I rang the door bell, I could see someone inside coming towards the door and on opening there was Ed greeting me with a broad smile.

“Hello Adam, come on in,” said Ed as I followed Ed to his sitting room and beckoned me to take a seat. I already felt aroused as I could smell that Ed had obviously been working as the aroma of sweat hit my nose.

“Like me get you a drink, I won’t be long.” He said as I watched Ed leave the room, admiring his body.

Ed returned with a bottle and two glasses. He set the glasses on the table and opened the bottle and began to pour. My heart started pounding when I looked into his eyes. He gave me a grin as he came over and sat in the other chair. He was slightly in front of the table, enough so that I could see his crotch in full view. I tried not to stare but his basket was so inviting I couldn’t help sneaking a peak at it. I know he noticed and I blushed a little, but pretended not to notice that he had caught me. He lifted his glass and toasted.

“To friendship” he said, and took a big gulp.

I said, “To friendship and more”.

We chatted for a bit, but I felt there was something he wanted to know and wouldn’t ask. Suddenly he stood up and asked, “Do you want to go with me to a benefit fundraiser, I can bring a guest?”

I was a little stunned but of course I said yes, “but what would I say if someone asked who I am?” I asked.

“Your my new personal assistant. They don’t need to know anything else.”

“Sounds good to me.” I responded. “Do I need to change?” I asked.

“No, your fine, it’s informal, but I need to freshen up a bit and make himself more presentable before we go.” He added, “Make yourself at home while I go clean up. The TV is in the bedroom.”

I followed him into the bedroom and turned on the TV. Ed finally finished and returned to the room. His chest was bare as he went to the dresser to get another shirt. He put on a shirt and buckled up his pants and walked up to me. He asked if I had seen anything on the TV. I was knocked back into reality and said, “No, not much.”

“Well, if your ready, lets go. You drive.” Ed said as he disappeared into the hall way.

As we drove along, we sat quietly for a few minutes. Ed seemed restless as he thumped his fingers on the arm rest. Not knowing whether he was uncomfortable about going out in public with his new secret gay lover. I decide calm him down by starting a conversation about what I had seen on the TV. Ed seemed to relax as we pulled up to a very nice home in the country and with his hand on my shoulder, we walked inside. A waiter seated us at a table about midway through the yard. I chose a seat next to Ed so we both had a view of the yard.

A few fans came by wanting autographs and pictures with Ed. I found Ed to be the most approachable of the actors at the benefit and he was extremely friendly toward fans. I laughed to myself as I watched some of the old women that seem to be flirting with Ed. One woman kept hugging and caressing Ed. From the way the curt fan acted, I imagined she had visions of dollars dancing in her head. Fat chance of that happening I thought to myself. When she finally left, I locked in on to Ed’s eyes made me horny and I wanted to take him back to the house and start him up again.

“Quit gushing.” Ed said bringing me back to reality.

“Let me worship you, old man!” I responded.

We chuckled as the waiter interrupted and asked what we would like. After ordering the waiter left us and I again returned my gaze to Ed. We ate in silence, looking out in the yard at all the people enjoying the nice weather. I was trying to enjoy the view but it was easier to enjoy the view right next to me. Looking around, I found I had an opportunity to try and get my hand on Ed’s crotch and find his treasures. I started to reach for his crotch and he pretended not to notice as he kept starring out into the yard. I started to massage and caress his dick and he leaned back and spread his legs. Apparently it was too good of a feeling as he said we should go back to the house. When he stood I could see his hard on in his pants. He covered it with the coat and escorted me in a hurry back to the car so we could head to his house.

When we got to Ed’s home, in one motion, he closed and locked the door behind us, throw his coat on the couch and he had me in an embrace before I could think what to do to satisfy him. Then he shoved his tongue in my mouth and was rubbing his hands up and down my back. Before I knew it, he was slipping his hands down my shorts and feeling my butt. He slowly he was moving downwards, slowly pulling the shorts against the raging hard on inside them. With his head level with my groin, he gave a harder tug, pulling the shorts off and allowing my dick to spring out in front of his face. Ed seemed surprised pleased with the sight of my dick quivering in front of him.

“I’m not very good at this.” he said, “but I think this is how it’s done.” With that, I felt his wet tongue slide over my cock as his hands cupped my butt cheeks.

Then Ed slid his tongue up the underside of my shaft and wrapped it around the head, sucking vigorously. I to gasp in pleasure as I felt Ed’s soft mouth and tongue playing with my cock. Fuck! For a 70 something yr. old, he sure could suck! He swallowed more and more of my cock, deeper into his hungry mouth. I was finding it hard to hold back as his hand grabbed my nuts, squeezing them tight while his bald head bobbed up and down my cock. I grabbed his head firmly in my hands and began fucking his face furiously, I was going wild. I didn’t know if could have held back any longer as my balls were about to explode, but Ed started gagging after the furious pounding I had just given his mouth.

“Not as good as I thought I’d be.” He said with a grin looking up at me.

“Well, you almost had me cumming. So I say you did a damn good job.” I said waving my cock right in front of him.

With that, Ed got up, eager to put his tongue in my mouth, but I had other ideas though, licking my way down to his pants. I undid the buckle, unzipped him and pushed his pants down to the floor. We stepped out of our pants, which were still down by our ankles and began a long hug and kiss. He was very excited as I took his dick in my hand as we held each other. He was kissing me with a passion I have never known.

“Adam,” whispered Ed. “Will you fuck me?”

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“I’ve been waiting for someone like you to take me,” He said as he began to slowly release me and started to turn around.

He rubbed his back against me as I hugged him to my body, feeling my dick sliding into Ed’s large butt cheeks. Eager to give Ed every pleasure he could ever want and I knew what he wanted so I kissed my way down his back until I was kneeling behind him. As Ed grabbed the back of the recliner, I stuck out my tongue and slid it through the sweaty hairy crack. The scent drove me wild as my tongue delved deeper before finally reaching his ring. When I brushed my tongue against his hole a few times and then slid the tip of it in, he let out a gasp and a soft moan as my tongue worked in and out, eating him. He soon started masturbating himself and with each stroke I could feel Ed’s ring tighten and then relax. By now I had his crack and hole completely soaked as my tongue was sliding in all the way with ease. I stood back up, reached down for my dick and started running it up and down his wet crack a few times. Then I put the head right against the tight hole, I pressed against him and the tip of my cock slid in.

“Ahhh… easy now.” He said as put his hands above the recliner to brace himself.

I grabbed hold of his wide hips as I slid in further, I ignored his cries until I was completely up to my nuts in him. After a minute or so of letting him slowly adjust to me, I began to fucked him nice and slow as I didn’t wanna hurt the old fellow. I started to move left and right with my dick, opening his asshole when I instantly hit the right spot as he was suddenly moaning in delight.

“Ahh shit!” Ed grunted.

As I fucked his ass slowly as the the recliner rocked back and fourth to aid in the motion. Ed was loving it as he was really moaning. I was in heaven seeing Ed’s hairy back; his hot, mature, body was positively glistening with sweat and the smell of our bodies mingled and what a delight aroma. I loved watching my dick slide deep and then all the way out as I was fucking him harder now.

“Ohh give it to me. Give to me! Oh yes, yes faster, faster!“ He said as he started to grunt in tune to my thrust’s.

I grabbed his hips and proceeded to fulfill my wildest dreams. Faster and faster I went as he moaned and gyrating his hips, pushing back harder and harder against me wanting me to give him more. I was holding back as hard as I could as I reached around and pumped his dick furiously trying to get him to cum at the same time I did. My wish came true and he began to roar as he shot his liquid love into my hands and I rammed my rod inside him, shooting my load into his quivering love canal. I had shot the biggest and hottest load of my life up in the old man. Looking down I as I pulled out, a whole load of cum spilled with it.

As I stood there I wondered; could this have happened or was I dreaming? Ed had collapsed into the chair and when I saw his perfect body in front of me and I knew it was real. He opened his arms in a gesture for me to come sit on his lap. I did, with our heads touching, he squeezed me to his body as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"It’s such a pleasure to be here with you.” I said as felt him press his head against mine.

Still holding me in his arms he said, “It’s a pleasure to be had.”

CHAPTER FOUR: A Celebrity's Personal Assistant

For the past few weeks, my life has been like a Hollywood movie and it couldn’t have played out any better. I’ve only been a personal assistant to a celebrity for a month now and that celebrity, I’m a personally assisting, is one Mr. Ed Asner. My job is to drive him around, go through his mail, make phone calls, deal with photos and appearances and handle his many charitable donations. The one big thrill was the sex. Being his ‘paid whore on call’ as he sometimes call me. I’m not complaining. Hell… I’m fucking Lou Grant, the curmudgeon boss on ‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show.’ There’s a ton of people who would love to be in my position. Which came about from what I’d call ’a bootie call.’ I guess its one of the perks of the job. The downside, a pre-marriage Asner had quite a few girlfriends and the post-marriage Asner was no different. And I was expected to juggle them all. Women… Hell, just about everyone were obsessed with him. He was really charming and so I’d have to go and get gifts for his different girlfriends.

But on today’s agenda, he was doing a local TV Talk show to promote his one man play “FDR.” While we were there, we were attended by the show’s producer, a hot looking cougar by name of Sally Kirkland. As soon as she walked up to greet us, I see his face light up. Asner beamed.

“Hello, Mr. Asner…“

“Fuck that! Fuck that! Call me Ed!” He said, cutting her off abruptly.

If she didn’t have a smile on her face before, that certainly brought one out now. They had the usual pre-interview chat all the while they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Nothing unusual, normal hug, hand shake deal. But I definitely could see Ed had the hots for this chick. During a commercial break, Sally came over to see if Ed wanted anything, and he said yes, for her to come to the show, and he would "show her a really good time.” Ed then leaned over as if he wanted to peck Sally on the cheek, and when she leaned in, he licked the side of her face. A bit kinky perhaps, but not totally unexpected that something on Asner would be “Up.” It was like that between them during the whole time we were there. And with Asner’s quick wit and charm, it’s no surprise that Sally accompanied us back to Ed’s house.

Ed made up an excuse that would have me gone for an hour or so. Ed gave me a unseen wink out the door and as soon as it closed, they were getting after it. I hopped in my car and drove around block to a free parking spot. It took me 15 minutes or so to get back to the house and my dick was throbbing even though I was shaking from fear of being discovered as I approached the old man’s patio. As I peaked in the patio door, I spotted Ed, on the bed facing me with his shirt off and pants around his ankles. And surprise, surprise, Sally on her knee in front of him going to town on his cock. Fuck! Sally sure could suck! She swallowed more and more of his cock, deeper into her hungry mouth. I was finding it hard to hold back as I unzipped my pants and pulled out my throbbing dick. And in doing so, I finally caught Ed’s attention. Ed’s a bit of an exhibitionist and seeing me, only made this encounter that much better.

“Shit, that feels wonderful.” He exclaimed as he suddenly reached down and grabbed her behind the head with his huge, weathered hands, forcing his cock down her throat.

“Show me what a good cock sucker you are. Take that whole damn thing!” He said in an almost angry voice looking dead into my eyes with a sinister grin.

I know all to well what she’s going through. Ed may not have the longest, but it good 7 inches and thick as hell. And Sally managed to take inch after inch of his thick dick down her throat until her lips were pressed against his pubes. He held her face to his crotch until she gagged before he pulled her head back. I was feverishly jerking my dick as she started moving her mouth up and down his thick dick shaft as Ed fucked her mouth.

“Oh fuck!” Ed groaned as he watched his female companion leaned forward and let her lips slide down his veiny pole while from outside, I stood wide-eyed and open mouthed myself as Sally’s face dipped into the silver curls above his manhood over and over again.

“Honey…” Ed said. “I - I can’t take much more of this.”

“I guess it’s my turn now.” She said as she stood up, licked her lips and started to completely undress.

As she pulled her blouse up over her head and then reached back and undid her bra, I admired her tits. While they weren’t big and looked small in proportion with the rest of her slightly chubby frame, the sight of those grapefruit-sized breasts with the plump red nipples, surprisingly made my heart skip a beat.

“You’re beautiful, honey,” Ed told her as she cupped her breasts and squeezed them.

Ed kicked off the pants from around his ankles as Sally threw herself back into the bedding and spread her slender thighs wide to show the old man her pink insides, revealing the lips of her sex were bare. I could tell Ed had a big smile on his face as he slowly ease down on his knees in front of her. He slowly ran his hands from her knees, down her inner thighs, to her crotch. Then using his sausage like thumb, started rubbing her pussy lips causing slight mourns from Sally.

“Your already wet.” Ed said as he ran his hand over the dewy flesh. “Now I’m going to make you wetter.”

I had never dreamt of seeing this, I thought while I watched Ed buried his face in between her thighs. Sally was kicking her feet around and thrashing her arms, clawing at the sheets while Ed brought her closer and closer to orgasm, forcing him to wrap my hands around her hips to try and hold her down. I now learned from my experiences with Ed, that whether it’s a cock or pussy. Ed can give unbelievable head.

“Oh God!” Sally said once, and then another half dozen times as she tried to catch her breath. “That was… oh God!”

I could tell she came not only from the screech she let out as her upper body kept rising and slamming back down on the bed, but from the spray that hit Ed’s face as he held on her as she squirmed almost off the bed before he stopped tonguing her. Ed looked over to me with a smile on his face as he struggled to get up off of the floor, his face glistening from the juice hit it moments before.

“Gimme that,” Sally said, forcing herself to sitting position and grabbing Ed’s cock, which was in a semi-erect state, and put it in her mouth again.

“That’s right honey, get it hard.” Ed growled.

Ed positioned himself almost sideways between her legs as to give me a better view. Then Ed seemed to tense up and damn near fell over, grabbing for Sally’s shoulder to keep himself upright. If I didn’t know better and I did. Sally had a finger or two up Ed’s ass making him her puppet. She was a pro as Ed’s cock was getting stiff again while she did things inside his ass that I know the protologist hadn’t done.

“Oh yea… get it in there!” he said as he grab a condom from the dresser.

Sally hopped back on the bed as the old man stretched the condom to roll down his thick cock. In less than a minute, Ed slide to the middle of the bed. Sally waited till he was ready, then carefully straddled Ed, grabbing a  hold of what was about to fill her up and positioning his cock at the opening of her pussy. Slowly, she used her weight to force the prick in. I think only about one-fourth of the massive dick was in, Ed grabbed Sally’s hips and shoved upwards. It didn’t take her long to realize what had happened, and she began to grind on him.

“Shit!” Ed exclaimed as he felt his dick go in to the hilt, and then his eyes looked over to the patio at me edging at the sight of them.

Ed had wasted no time sliding his cock in her; he was a real fucker, knew exactly how to please himself and in return give me pure satisfaction. He moved her ass to ride up and down his pole, using her hips as handlebars to massage his cock to his rhythm.

“Your fucking me so good!” the blonde yelped as the bed bounced from grinding her neatly trimmed soft blonde pubic patch down hard onto his grey wiry pubic hair. Still grinding, she leaned over and forced her tongue past Ed’s lips. I was so turned on at the sight of them. I thought I could actually taste Ed’s tongue myself. Ed was deep inside her as she tried to milk him of his baby juice as she began softly moaning, “Oh fuck me yes that’s it.”

“This is hot.” I whimpered as I as I nearly forgot hide stay hidden while watching Ed. Both of my hands were busy as I stood there with only the edge of the patio door to conceal me. My right hand was twisting my nipples while my left hand was busy running up and down my dick.

I hated that Ed was using the blonde as a cock polisher of sorts; wishing Ed was sticking his cock into me instead of Sally, who was cumming and screaming it out to the world while the blonde’s pussy tried to snap his dick in two. Soon the slapping sounds of Sally’s body crashing into Ed’s were overwhelmed by her screaming as she came a second time, and when her pussy clamped down around his cock he came too, spurting his seed deep into that condom. She kept up her movements til she was sure Ed was dry and then laid her head on his chest. Ed’s eyes kept going back to me outside and while he might have been in Sally’s body physically, but in my mind he was dreaming of me jerking off outside his patio door.

“Thank you, baby. That pleased me to no end. I hope I haven’t disappointed you.”

“Came twice. You definitely did not disappoint” Sally said after pulling off  his spent cock.

After hearing that seemed to wake me from my trance because I then, without cumming, I stuffed my dick back in my pants and scrambled from out of backyard and ran out to my car. I sat there in my car I don’t know how long as I contemplate what I was feeling. I was still turned on about what just happened but I was also a little sad and angry that it wasn’t just me Ed was fucking. I knew what this was from the start I thought as I finally start the engine. Ed’s got a reputation he has to maintain and as his assistant, I have to help him maintain it. And if he still fucks me. All the better.

“Where the hell have you been? Sally had to take a cab.” Ed said as came though the door.

“Sorry I didn’t know how long …”

“Shit, weren’t you there watching?” He said, cutting me off abruptly.

“Yeah I was. But I left before I even blew my load so I wouldn’t get caught and…” I said as paused in mid sentence as notice Ed staring at me intently.

“Come over here.”

I was a little hesitant as I slowly walked over to him as I didn’t know what he was going to do. He then reached with his big, weathered hands and started undoing my zipper. He pulled it out and looked at it. My dick was getting very hard and stiff which was pointing right into his face. Then Ed looked me in the eyes then back to my hard dick in his hand and in big motion, opened his mouth wide to suck my cock deep down to his throat.

“Oh shit.” I said as my jaw fell open as he started to blow me.

I began to spread my legs so he could have better access to my cock and he began to undo my pants and push them down along with my underwear. Now I was completely accessible to his loving attention as he grabbed my balls and put his mouth back over my throbbing cock, pushing his head down on it as far as he could without gagging. His hands grabbed my legs and made their way to my ass, grabbing a cheek in each hand as his mouth slid up and down my cock. Each time he sucked me in, his nose pressed into my pubic hair and I felt it’s tip on the skin beneath my pubes.

He didn’t slurp or make a production out of the act, and the only sounds he made were the squishing sounds my penis made as is came out of his throat coated in saliva. I looked down and saw Ed’s bald aged spotted head bobbing up and down on my dick as I could literally feel my dick head rubbing the back of his throat. Within seconds, both my hands were thrusting my hard erected dick deep into his hungry mouth with my balls banging against his chin. About 10 minutes later, I squirmed to let him know I was about to cum and he just shoved his head down farther on me as I began to erupt in his throat. When I finished my orgasm and stood straight again, Ed let my penis out from between his lips and got up in front of me. He looked into my eyes and put his hands on my shoulders.

“I’m going to take a shower,” Ed said as he headed down the hall, pausing to say, “See ya tomorrow and don’t forget to lock up,” before departing.

Chapter Two: The Visit

It seemed like time was standing still and even though I tried to occupy myself, I found it difficult to concentrate on anything. It got to 3:00pm, so I took a shower then got ready to go to Ed’s. I kept telling myself that nothing would happen when I met Ed and that he just wanted someone to set-up his computer. Then I remembered that Ed was married and just an animal lover. After the shower I pondered on what to wear. Should I act like a whore and wear a sleeveless t-shirt and shorts? Or is that to obvious. I didn’t want to embarrass Ed or myself if I was barking up the wrong tree. I decided on a normal t-shirt and a pair of sports shorts. They were appropriate for the weather anyway, so I would look normal. I left the house and drove the short distance to the neighboring Silver Triangle neighborhood where he lived. Even though I knew the area, I hadn’t really been down his street before, so after looking at the house numbers I finally found Ed’s house.

Ed might be an award-winning actor, but his Los Angeles home was a modest gated traditional retreat taking “privacy” to the next level by having the house camouflaged fairly well with bushes and trees. A must for an actor celebrity like Asner. I parked my car and walked up to the front door and rang the door bell. Nothing. I thought that maybe I had the wrong time, but no, it was right at 4. Then, through the stain glass window in the door, I saw someone inside coming towards the door and on opening there was the legendary Ed Asner himself greeting me with a broad smile.

“Hello Adam, come on in,” said Ed holding under his arm a cat who was struggling to get down.

Ed shut the door and put down his cat, which immediately ran towards me.

“This is Wheezy,” he said as Wheezy started rubbing against my leg.

Ed led me followed by Wheezy though the living room into a small, slightly untidy office. I already felt aroused as I could smell that Ed had obviously showered and shaved recently as the aroma of aftershave hit my nose. His friendly cat seems completely at home amid the packed bookcases and collection of tribal masks from around the world. On a end table, a pair of Asner’s seven Emmy Awards competes for attention with photos of the TV actor posing with the likes of Jimmy Carter, Muhammad Ali and Fidel Castro.

“Well here it is,” he said. “And sorry it’s a bit messy.”

Ed had already done a lot of the preparation work, removing the old computer from his desk and disconnecting the monitor and printer. It took no time at all to hook up the new computer and boot it up.

“There, that was pretty easy. Need anything else?” I asked.

“Well I bought this new camera and I could use some help hooking it up. Could you also teach me how to get the picture I have taken onto my new computer?” he replied.

“Sure! What kind of camera did you buy?” As I asked my question, Ed walked down the hall and into the master bedroom. I could hear him digging in a closet and soon he returned with a digital camera and the box that contained all of the cables needed to hook it to the computer.

“Wow, great camera!” I said.

“This camera takes good photos but they don’t do one bit of good if you cannot get them onto the computer, right?” he asked.

“This camera will take great photos. You will be able to rival professional photographers,” I replied. “Well let’s get started, okay?”

Ed opened the box and handed me the software discs, cables and manual. I took the materials and began to hook up the camera to his computer while Ed watched. He leaning over my shoulder and watched as I performed the simple cable connections. Because of the close quarters, Ed was partially on top of me in order to see how I hooked the camera the computer. He seemed to be unaffected by this closeness, but I wasn’t so fortunate. I was starting to get a hard on and it was so apparent that even Ed couldn’t help but notice. He had to look down toward my waist several times and I know he could see the bulge in my pants but he never said a word. Once when he was looking down I swore I could see a smile come to his face. Perhaps I was dreaming.

It took no time at all to install the camera’s software and it was time to start showing Ed how to use it.

“Now it’s time to test our work,” I said.

Ed sat down at the computer and I began to show him how to use the software. I couldn’t help it, but being next to Ed, leaning over his shoulder to help him with the computer had taken its toll. My cock was full hard and bulging in my pants. Ed was excited to download all of the photos that he had taken and there were a lot of them. At first they were the types of photos that you would expect from an amateur photographer. There were photos of the house, yard, pets and grandkids, all boring and uneventful. All of a sudden there was this large flesh colored image that appeared on the screen. I couldn’t believe it but there in living color was a picture of a cock, Ed’s cock.

“I forgot to warn you, I took a few risqué photos,” Ed said.

If I hadn’t had a hard on before I sure had one now. I stood back and looked at the screen and then at Ed’s face; He’d turned to catch my reaction to the image on the screen. I smiled at him and before I could stop myself I heard my voice say, “Don’t apologize, you look great!”

“You’re a pussycat.”  Ed said with a smile.

“If you like that then you’ll love this,” he replied and then the next photo came across the screen.

My heart fluttered. “My God!” I replied.

Ed laughed, “Glad you like it. You’re welcome to join me.”

“Huh?” I said with a questioning look. “What do…?”

“Adam, I want to sleep with you.” He said as he stopped me in mid-sentence and began to remove his shirt. I watched as Ed’s hand moved from button to button until he had fully exposed his wonderfully hairy chest.

“You going to get undressed? Or you just going to let me stand here like an idiot.” He said with a smiled.

I quickly pulled off my shirt, kicked off my shoes and unbuttoned my shorts letting them fall to the ground. I slowly lowered my shorts and my long fat dick sprung straight out from my body inches away from Ed’s head. It was so hard it was throbbing, the old man’s eyes got big and he smiled as he looked at my thick dick.

“I see you’re ready?” He said as he stood up and began to remove his pants.

My eyes feasted on his naked chest, covered by a mixture of black and grey hair. I watched his hand move to undo his zipper and his pants dropped to the ground. Ed was now in his underwear, a bulge of his own beginning to take shape. I couldn’t help but stare as he moved towards me. Then he surprised me by reaching down, grabbing hold of my dick and started jacking dick hard and fast. I reached in his shorts, took hold of the old man’s dick and started jacking his as he pumped his hand back and forth over the head of my dick. I loved the feel of his rough workman like hand on my dick. Just seeing his hair arm moving back and forth as he jacked me turned me on.

“I have been thinking about you since we first met. You ever thought about me?” He said as look at me with a half-grin.

“When have I not thought about you. I’ve always wondered what you would look like naked,” I said.

Ed took one step back and said, “Well, do you like what you see?”

“You look better than I imagined you would be.” I said as I put my arms around him with our naked bodies touching their full length.

Then he took me by the hand and led me to the master bedroom. I was kinda star struck, like Cinderella at the ball. I couldn’t help but admirer my surroundings as we sat down on the white curtain lined bed and began to caress each other. The self-contained Grand Master Bedroom was huge. A ginormous bed,s complete with a sitting area, fireplace, a walk in cedar lined closet and double french doors that leads out to a patio that had a pool and spa.

Then my attention immediately turned back to Ed as I moved my hand over to his chest and began to explore his wonderful field of hair. Slowly I worked my way down following the line of dark hair to his crotch. His cock was now almost completely hard. It was a good seven inches long and about three inches thick. Ed leaned back in the bed and let me play with his cock. He pulled me closer to him and with his free hand he began to explore my body until his hand found my cock. I was still fully erect and the touch of his hand, sent waves of pleasure moving across my body. He smiled at me and began to stroke my cock, slowly at first, but then he began to move his hand faster. I moved my hand over his cock to keep pace with his efforts. Just before I was past the point of no return, he stopped and leaned towards my ear.

“I don’t want this to end just yet,” he said.

Ed stood up and moved directly in front of me. He was gorgeous and his cock now fully erect, pointed directly at me. I started rubbing my hands over his mature dick which caused Ed to groan and put his hands on my shoulders for support. He moved his hand to his cock, he stopped and smiled, “See what your playing did. Now you have to help me out with this.”

“I am at you service,” I replied.

With that, he moved his hands and cupped my face, forcing my mouth to the head of his cock. I teasingly ran my tongue over Ed’s dick and with that. He moved his hands to the back of my head and began to move my mouth down his cock. As his cock slid right down my throat, Ed’s body shuddered and he let out a grasp of surprise.

“The day I first saw you, I couldn’t get rid of the thought of you sucking my cock and it’s just like I dreamed it would be.” Ed saided as he I looked at me.

I let him guide my tempo as I move my mouth up and down the seven inches of his cock. Each time I would stop at the top to run my tongue around his fat cock head. I was in no hurry to get him off and he was in no hurry to cum. He was happily enjoying the moment as I keep busy working on Ed’s cock, licking, sucking and plunging it down my throat, eager to please him.

“Not so much,” Ed said breathlessly. “I won’t last much longer if you keep doing that.”

“Let’s try something new.” he said.

Ed moved my head away from his cock and motioned that I lay on back across the bed. He reached into a drawer, pulled out some lub, unscrewed the top and squeezed some of contents on his finger. Then he moved his finger to my asshole and began to work it into my ass.

“Oh god,” I moaned.

With that he removed his finger and again squeezed the tube for more lubricant. This time he placed his hand on my ass and stuck two fingers up my butt. He kept repeating this process until four of his fingers were comfortably moving in and out of my ass.

“You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” I asked.

He laughed, “I’ve done this a few times with my ex and a few guys.”

Picking up a condom from the drawer, placing it over his cock and placing a good amount of lubricant in his hand. Then as he greased his cock, I pulled my legs up so that Ed could push his throbbing dick into my hole. Then in one smooth motion, raised my butt up off the bed and placed his cock at the hole. He wasted no time to get his dick all the way up my ass, feeling my own dick go extra hard as Ed’s tip buried itself deep inside. He placed my legs over his shoulders and began to pump his hips slowly making sure to give me the full length of his cock with each stroke. He was a master cocks man and I was getting the full benefit of his knowledge. Ed, now breathing heavily, pushing in and out, slowly at first, gradually speeding up as he felt my ass clench his throbbing dick. Looking up seeing his large body starting to glisten with sweat and his cheeks flushed made me hot.

“Yeah, fuck me. Yeah!!!!!” I couldn’t say anything else except to moan and enjoy the pleasure.

I knew that he was not going to cum, not yet. He wanted to work my ass until I begged him to fuck me harder, faster. I wasn’t ready for that quite yet either. I wanted to feel his cock move inside me, making love to me. This was my fantasy come true and I want to enjoy ever moment of it.

“I might fuck you all afternoon, maybe all evening. What do you think of that?” he asked.

“You can do this the rest of my life if you want to,” I replied.

The thrusting came faster and faster as Ed was almost sobbing with sheer pleasure his dick was giving him, and accentuated by me playing with his nipples dangling in front of my face. Then with the thrusting reaching fever pitch, Ed lend foward and pushing his tongue into my mouth as his hands ran all over my body. I was in heaven; my fantasy was coming true and all I could feel was Ed’s big, hairy body pushing into me with his tongue exploring my mouth. Breaking away I whispered softly to Ed, “I’ve wanted this to happen since I first saw you a few days ago.”

Then with a grunt I finally felt his spunk shoot through his cock into me as waves of ecstasy swept his body. With a final few thrusts he fell on top of me panting with sweat dripping off his forehead.

“Adam,” he said in a short breath, nuzzling my neck. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this with me.”

“I can’t thank you enough either,” I said as Ed rolled his back.

“Now, my balls are aching to be released….”  I added as I started masturbating.

But Ed was having none of that, as he moved my hand away, grabbed my dick with his hand and jacked it. I moaned as I put my hands around Ed, rubbing my hands over his shoulders, feeling the hair under my fingers. He continued pumping, causing me to moan even more as the feelings of pleasure swept through me. Ed was looking at me with a big smile on his face as brought me close to cumming. The sensations hitting me and the vision beside me collided in my head and I couldn’t hold back any longer. With a series of groans, I lend over till my face was almost touching Ed’s and my cock was pushing into Ed’s belly. Suddenly I shot a torrent of cum over his belly and chest. Ed lay there, feeling my breath on his neck as I tried to regain my breath when he said, “You’re a good fuck kid.“

"Thanks” I said as I ran my fingers through the thick chest hair, gently fondling Ed’s body.

Ed grinned, and then his face went solemn.

“Adam,” he said. "I don’t know how to say this but, well, I’m sure that you must have a boyfriend your own age with a slim body like yours. Or even a girlfriend. But, you see, I know that I’m not in my twenties and in good shape, but…”

I had an idea what Ed was leading to, but didn’t want to interrupt.

“I think what I’m trying to say,” said Ed trying to find the words “Is that I’d love to see you again. I don’t know how to find someone like you, which is why when I saw you again, I asked you over. Perhaps if you’ve got a partner already I could still see you sometime?”

I lend over, put his arms around Ed’s ample girth and hugged him tightly while kissing him. Then withdrawing I looked at Ed’s rugged face.

“Ed, I haven’t got boyfriend, I’ve never had a young slim boyfriend or a girlfriend either. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, you can have me for as long as you want.”

Ed’s eyes started watering with emotion, his rugged face expressing gratitude.

Chapter One: Walking the Dog

It was early summer and most people were out in summer clothes, including me, wearing a pair of shorts and T-shirt as it was too hot for anything else. I was out walking my dog in the park, pondering on life, thinking about some work I had lined up in a few weeks time and also thinking about the fact that I was all alone concerning my love life. Brushing my thoughts aside, I carried on walking my dog when up ahead, I saw a boy riding his bicycle past me heading towards the road. I didn't pay much attention to him, but following behind was a man and I nearly fainted when he saw who it was. Ed Asner. Ed fucking Asner!

Time seemed to stand still as I took in as much of this moment as I could before this vision passed me headed to the end of the trail. His large build, shoulders and hairy arms, wearing a light blue shirt and shorts. I locked in on his clean shaven face and his silver white hair underneath a black baseball cap. And then like that. They were gone. They were obviously together; I'm guessing that the kid on bike was his grandson. I was shaking, realizing that Ed Asner was my fantasy man since Nick at Nite had on "The Mary Tyler Moore Show." And I let him walk pass me and didn't say shit. An iconic figure of both the big and small screen, also my first man crush when I was a boy and I didn't say shit.

As I reached the end of the trail, looking in the direction that they went. I hurried along, hoping maybe they had stopped somewhere and I might be able to get a better look at the object of my desires. When I got to the road, there was no sign of them.

"Damn." I thought to myself.

I carried on walking in the direction of home, when I looked up and saw Asner and his grandson sitting on a bench. My heart must have skipped a beat as I couldn't resist walking past to have a better look at Mr. Asner as  that was all I could think of at the moment. "Just a close up look, to give me something to fantasize about." I thought to myself.

"And try not to be a drooling, over zealous fan."

Walking down the path, I could see Mr. Asner and his grandson talking, and sharing a bottle of water. I could see that beautiful body, those broad shoulders, large belly and that big chest with jutting, hanging pectorals through his shirt. My eyes were firmly fixed on the bench occupants, when suddenly Ed turned and looked at me walking towards them. For a few seconds I thought he saw a look of disdain in the old man's face.

“Oh God. He probably thinks I'm a stalker or paparazzi." I thought.

Just then, Lady, my dog, stopped in front of them slowly wagging her tail. Mr. Asner turned his attention to the little terrier, leaned forward and tapped his hairy knee as to encourage the dog to come to him. That did it. Lady went wild wagging her tail like there were no tomorrow and jumping up at Ed trying to lick his hands. Mr. Asner rubbed Lady's head, which only encouraged Lady, who loved the attention. The boy was laughing at this friendly dog in front of his grandfather, and at this point I reached the bench wondering what to say.

Suddenly I realized that Ed was looking at me again, and felt embarrassed as our eyes met. The wistful look in his eyes must have made it pretty obvious that I was paying more than a passing glance. I thought I could see something in Ed's eyes, though I wasn't sure what. I must be imagining things or does think I'm a weirdo. Ed looked up while scratching Lady's neck and spoke to me in a deep, masculine voice. "Hello?"

"Sorry about that, she's a bit excitable but she loves everybody." I said to Mr. Asner.

"That's alright; she's a friendly little dog. How old is she?" Asked Ed.

"Nearly two. Hopefully she'll calm down a bit as she gets older."

"Probably." said Ed, turning his attention back to Lady who was now being stroked by the grandson as well, giving me the chance to admire Ed's body again. How I wished I could take him in my arms and pull him close to me, digging for all those goodies he’s got in his grandpa pants!!

After a little chuckle I finally ask, "Are you Ed Asner?"

"Ahh, lemme check. Where's my mirror?" He retorted

"Wow! I'm so excited, you have no idea." I gleely answered

"Well, don't be. I'm a decrepit old fogey."

"I've been a fan of you for almost my whole life."

"How old are you?" Ed asked.

"Well, I'm 31. Are you surprised that people like me are still discovering your work and admiring it?"

"First of all, I wouldn't know where you're discovering it! Yeah, I'm surprised. I take for granted that those somewhat younger than you haven't the foggiest notion of who I am. And I take it for granted that that's how that cookie crumbles." Ed said.

"And thank you for all of the entertainment you've provided over the years."

"Now that I'm talking to you, I'm in heaven. You have thrilled me to the gills by telling me that as a 31-year-old, you're a fan. That pleases me to no end. I hope I haven't disappointed you." He said.

"Not at all. Well I'd better leave you to it, come on Lady." I said.

"So that's what her name is, maybe I'll see you again sometime Lady." Ed said turning to talk to the terrier.

I managed to coax Lady away, and then bade fare well.

"See you." I said.

"I'm sure I will; by the way I like your shorts!" Ed said.

Whoa! That took me by surprise; my brain was going into over drive trying to think up a good answer that wasn't embarrassing or obvious to the grandson.

"I prefer yours!" I replied, at which Ed laughed, leaving me with that deep voice echoing around my head and that vision permanently imprinted in my brain.

I reached home and thought about what just happened, and wondered whether there was anything in what Ed said about "nice shorts." Perhaps he was poking fun at them, or just being polite. Perhaps I'm just acting like a teenager with a crush. I thought to myself. Looking at my watch, I saw that it was just 12:30pm. I had the house to myself, I should ease so pressure, so jumped online and pulled up so old episodes of Ed from his show "Lou Grant." I had always wanted to have sex with Ed Asner during the "The Mary Tyler-Moore Show" era since I was in high school. That thought had me reaching into my drawer and pulled out some lube, pull my already hard dick out and started jacking off right there in front of my computer. I manipulated my dick to the thought of Ed wrapping his thick and furry forearms around me. Then mercilessly pounding my ass atop his desk. My fantasy filled me with such excitement that I quickly shoot off, wishing it could have been over Ed rather than his own belly.

The next day dawned bright and sunny again, weather that always seems to make me feel horny. Or maybe it was that I hadn't been able to get that vision from the day before out of my head. I realized that it was infatuation that was doing this to me, but when someone of your utmost desires appears in front of you it must be understandable. I found it hard to think. As soon as I tried to concentrate on something, visions of Ed Asner would pop into his mind again, making hard all over again. It had been like this all morning and it just wouldn't go away. Looking at the clock, I could see it was 12:15pm. The park was a few minutes away and I had seen Asner at about 12:30 pm the day before. Perhaps, he will be passing through again.

"Wishful thinking." I thought to myself.

I had lived here in the east San Fernando Valley for two years and walked Lady regularly through the park without ever seeing Ed Asner before. Still Lady needed a walk, so I put the dog on the leash and walked towards the park. Turning off the main road, I glanced at the bench where I had spoken to Ed the day before. It was empty, so I went on home. The rest of the day I finally managed to concentrate on other matters. Lost in concentration, my desires suppressed for a while. The next day the weather was dull with a slight overcast. It was still hot, which it should be in July. I had been cleaning the house when Lady came in wanting attention. I looked at my watch. 1pm, about the time that Lady was taken out. Suddenly I remembered about the time I saw Asner two days ago, somehow I still thought that he might be passing through the park again at the same time today.

Too late, I thought and put Lady's leash on and thought nothing more on the matter. I walked my usual route through the park, which wasn't quite as pleasant as the previous day's due to the weather, while Lady ran all over the place picking up scents. Then I heard a voice behind me.

"Hello young man." I turned around to see that it was Ed Asner.

Lady immediately started jumping up at him and wagging her tail. I looked Ed over again, and saw the same rugged big build and silver white hair. He was still in shorts and wearing a close fitting white T-shirt that exaggerated the portly curves of his body.

"Oh, hi!"  I replied, not being able to think of anything else to say, while my brain was shouting SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX!

Mr. Asner bent down towards Lady. "Hello, you little terror! What's your name again?" He said as he looked up at me with an inquisitive look on his face.

"Lady isn't it?"

"Yes," I said. "

"You've got a good memory." I added.

Mr. Asner laughed, his deep voice making the hairs on my neck stand on end.

"I don't forget little dogs like this. She's just like my dog I use to have." Then he stood up allowing me to admire the chunkiness of his physique again.

"I thought you might be passing through at this time," he said.

"I've just seen my grandson back to his parents and was wondering if I might bump into you and your dog again."

Hmmm! I thought. That was unusual. Mr. Asner obviously seemed to remember him, and almost seemed to be keeping an eye out for him. Or was it because of Lady the dog?

"Well I just finish working on a computer and decide to that her for her walk." 

"So you work on computers huh?"

"Yeah, I'm a freelance IT guy for many companies in the area."

"Do you need some help?" I asked.

"I know we just meet. However, I cannot do this particular project by myself. Usually my personal assistant could help me but, she recently got a better job and I haven’t been able to replace her yet." Ed looked at me in an odd way as if he was watching my body language to see what my real feelings were.

I smiled at Ed and moved closer to him. "So what can I do for you?"

"I need help with my new computer. You said you work on computers." Ed turned and looked me in the eyes, "Does that sound like something you could help me with?"

I couldn't say yes fast enough.

"Good. How about later this afternoon? Around 4:00. If you're free that is?" I agreed, and Mr. Asner told him where he lived, which was only ten minutes away.
 
"Well, I'll see you later,” said Mr. Asner. "Oh, by the way. What's your name?" 

"Adam." 

"Well, I'll see you later then Adam,” and with that he walked away.

When I got home, I was shaking again. Surely Ed Asner wasn't coming on to me, was he? He'd almost suggested that he was keeping an eye out for me and now he had invited him to his house to set-up his computer! But then again, maybe, as he said, he didn't have anyone to set it up. Maybe he just not good with technology and I was reading too much into it again. He's been married for sometime. Whatever was going on, my concentration disappeared for the rest of the day. All I could think of was meeting Ed again. I refrained from jacking off, just in case. Even if nothing came of it I could have another great jack-off session after storing up my spunk for when I came back home afterwards.  

I think I have a Cop Thing

There no doubt that I'm a mark for uniforms. Military, policemen, firemen, the usual standards. I've made some post about a priest's outfit before. So this time I doing another personal favorite. Policemen uniforms or more precise. My favorite actors I'd like to fuck playing lawmen on screen.

Seems like every time I do one of these list, Tom Bosley is on it. And why not? He surprisingly looks good in uniform. Well he looks in everything now that I think about it. Thinking about it more, he looks even better naked.

 Well if Tom made this post, his replacement should too. I always thought Ron Masak was in that sheriff uniform too.

 Well a sheriff isn't a sheriff unless he has his hat on, leaning against a post with his hands on his belt.

That uniform might be a little snug on Bob Gunton but it looks damn good on him.

I mean really? Jack McGee looks fucking hot in that uniform.

As good as Len Cariou looks, he had better be commissioner.

If a cop ever look like Peter MacNeill, I'd definitely want him to strip search me. I mean look at that smile.

 M. Emmet Walsh is always a favorite what ever he has on.

Lastly, here's Ed Asner looking all grumptasticly fuckable in uniform. But then again, he always do.

Lou Grant

Recently, I've been watching the first seasons of "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and "Lou Grant" just to get a look at young Ed Asner whom some would say at his hottest. And to some degree I'd have to agree. But one thing I've notice between the two first season shows is that "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" Lou Grant was hotter than "Lou Grant" Lou Grant. I know it's silly but if you compare the two. Both hot I know, but MTM Lou was hotter than LG Lou. I couldn't figure it out at first, then I remembered Cloris Leachman and Ed Asner's sex pact. When they both were on MTM show she made a deal with Asner that she’d have sex with him if he lost 32 pounds. But it never happen because he only made it to 29. Hell... if it was me. Whether he lost the weight or not. I'm tapping that ass.

Certainly not "movie star hot" in any conventional way, but he was stout, hairy, masculine and so fucking sexy. He just exudes that strict father figure that I tend to get attracted to. In my mind, everything a man should be.  

 

He had it all, from the top of his thinning hair, those big thick dark eyebrows, hairy forearms and pudgy fingers. Ed as Lou Grant was just hot, total masculinity at it’s finest. 

The DEFINITION of a bear. 

 OK everybody. After this photo session, were're starting the orgy. 
I know if I was invited. There's three here that are definitely getting a courtesy tap. Ed of course, Betty White and Ted Knight. I just want to dress up like that cartoon cow (think I'm getting into the furry fetish) from that show he had after MTM show and fuck him. And Betty, something tells that's a hot fuck there waiting to happen. Even now... Naaaaaaaah. Just then.

 Who would I want to fuck more? A crusty, serious, less chubby Lou or... 

A crusty, chubby, heavy-drinking Lou. Of course its going to be this one.

Lou now. Still fuckable.

Hell. Even Mary thought about tapping ole' Lou. And if memory serves me, there were a few more women on that show that thought about it too. Hell Lou... your a good looking man. 

What's with the shocked look Lou? Surprised that there's a bunch of guys out that fantasized about you pounding there asses mercilessly on top of your desk. While Mary, Murray, Ted, Sue Ann and Phyllis cheer you on, waiting for their turn. 

OK, That thought might have spiraled out of control, but I'll roll with it.