Televangelists have had me conflicted since I was a teen. On one hand, they represent pretty much everything I hate (intolerance, homophobia, hypocritical sex scandals and financial cover-ups), but on the other hand, there so fucking hot to look at. From their suits, jewelry and overall charisma, they can be pretty damn sexy. And if you have an issue with them (given their stance on homosexuality), do what I do. Just imagine how much it'll piss them all off if they find out their a gay sex symbol :-). So lets get started.
#10 Billy Graham
This guy rose to celebrity status in 1949 with large indoor and outdoor rallies; sermons were broadcast on radio and television, some still being re-broadcast today. He's one of, if not the first televangelists I saw on TV. I remember reluctantly watching his annual Billy Graham Crusades at my grandmother's house and excusing myself to the bathroom for so relief. He's retired and like a hundred now, but I could work with his son Franklin, who followed in his footsteps.
You can keep those boots on Franklin and Billy can watch too.
#9 R. W. Schambach
Probably not as well known as others on this list, the late Schambach's television program, Power Today, can be seen on the DayStar Christian TV network as well as over the internet in streaming podcasts. A faith healer that I wouldn't mind him laying hands on me. He had a kind of swagger that makes me think he'd be great in bed. A real talker, which I love. A Jesus here and there and a shake of the ass to set you off.
#8 Morris Cerullo
The host of "
Victory Today," Cerullo is a highly controversial figure, with concerns being raised about the manner and style of his fundraising practices in the developed countries to finance his mission work. I'd so work that big round head of his and his face. His fund-raising practices would be more controversial if he excepts my offer of a G for one night with me. It's not what you think, just a sermon... naked. Nothing else.
#7 John Hagee
You know I love the chubs, but the pear bottom Hagee only got on this list in the last five years or so for the fact that he's greyier now. The CEO of John Hagee Ministries, which telecasts his national radio and television ministry carried in the United States on ten television networks, including 62 high-power stations aired to more than 150 million households. He's a Texan and they make them big in Texas. Well, at least I hope.
#6 Jimmy Swaggart
I always had a soft (or hard?) spot for a guy who likes to keep his dick wet and Swaggart definitely did. His 1980s telecast was transmitted to over 3,000 stations and cable systems each week before sexual scandals with prostitutes in the late 1980s and early 1990s led the Assemblies of God to defrock him. Back then I didn't care for him, but now. If he still want to keep his dick wet, he can give me a call. I can keep my mouth shut (when needed).
#5 Pat Robertson
The host of The 700 Club, a Christian News and TV program broadcast live weekdays on the ABC Family Channel as well as on channels throughout the United States, and on CBN network affiliates worldwide. Robertson's media and financial resources make him a recognized, influential, and controversial public voice for conservative Christianity in the United States. And I'd preferably like to kept his voice silenced by putting my dick in his mouth, though he would disagree. Or would he? I'm pretty sure out of all the guys here, he'd be the most pissed about being on this list.
#4 Arnold B. Murray
The late Arnold Murray was the "pastor" of a church called the Shepherd's Chapel which is based in Gravette, Ark, with over 200 television stations carrying his ministry. Getting any information on Mr. Murray is very difficult. As he was rather private about his personal history and has refused to provide much biographical information about himself. And I've seen the word cult when describing his ministry. So I'll end this by saying 'I'd do his ass.'
#3 Oral Roberts
Founder the Oral Roberts Evangelistic Association and Oral Roberts University. The late Roberts was one of the best-known and controversial American religious leaders of the 20th century with his ministries reaching millions of followers worldwide, spanning a period of over six decades. His ministry was criticized by critics and supporters for his widely publicized funding appeals. On your knees, begging for money is not a good look. Or is it? Seeing him on his did kinda do it for me. And even though he's dead, he's another one with a son that I wouldn't like doing.
Richard's chubbier now, so I'd bend him over a table.
#2 Earl Paulk
The founder of one of the country’s first great independent megachurches in the Cathedral at Chapel Hill in Decatur, Georgia, a suburb of Atlanta. The late Paulk was also known for his lifelong crusade against racism, but with that being said. This guy was the shadiest of the shady with allegations of sexual misconduct, including several illicit relationships and accusations that he had molested children. Threesomes, whoring chicks out among other things. If it wasn't for the accusations of child molestation. He'd be at the top. I've got to do a later post just about him because DAMN he got a story to tell.
#1 Jerry Falwell
An evangelical Christian pastor, televangelist, and a conservative political commentator who founded Lynchburg Christian Academy (now Liberty Christian Academy) who had problems with Larry Flint and the Teletubbies. The late Falwell gets my top spot because he's a chub of course and a grade A dick. Sure there's other dicks on this list but their not on his level. I'd personally like to put him in a Tinky Winky costume fuck him like crazy on tape so I could give it to Larry Flint publish in Hustler. You know he's getting a solo post too.
P. S.
After seeing Jerry Falwell, Jr., if he got heavier. I'd sooo do him. And yes I see a pattern.
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